I loved reading this! You framed the problem so well—we want to get past that gap between our taste and our abilities, and we want to believe that there’s some point where we’ve “made it” or “arrived” and can stop feeling insecure. But in reality we’ll only feel that sense of satisfaction for brief moments, because as our taste and our creative ambitions grow, we’ll open up new gaps to then cross.
It’s a scary but also very freeing thing to realize—that you never arrive at the point of total satisfaction. Which means (positively) that there’s always some new thing to discover or grow on your work
The feeling is so fleeting isn’t it?? I’ve cited your conspiracy essay to so many people recently! and when I read it my immediate thought was “I wish I could write like that” and then had to remind myself that to do so is a matter of work :)
I think taking a break is an important part to getting back on your creative feet. Sometimes intentionally stepping away, waiting until you absolutely crave it, yearn for it is enough to remind you why you bother in the first place and get you excited again.
It’s hard being creative, consistently. I’m just now learning that it really is a relationship that needs to be seen as such and nurtured and respected. I’ve gotten into the habit of making sure I’m in the right headspace before stepping in my studio. It’s not worth resenting the thing that you began because it brought you joy!
Reading this was perfect timing. Most of my studio days this week have been, “I hate this. Why am I even doing this?” I had to remind myself that last week I had some, “I love this!” days. It’s such a pendulum!
Gosh this was relieving to read. I feel this heavily, especially being a young adult in university and my creative flow + my relationship with my work. My favorite part was where we have great taste but our art doesn't match the taste, and then disappoints. I found that I try to do everything others do because I really like it and I want to share in it. Then I realize that this can be apart of my taste, it can be artwork I admire, but it doesn't mean it is meant for ME to recreate or take part in the genre. I once read an excerpt from a book on how art is alive and it is a living thing that we have a relationship. It changes alongside us and through us. So, you can never tie down your art or yourself because they're both ever evolving. <3
Thank you for the kind mentions, Anna! I so feel this idea of the “creative edge” — I think it’s one of the most confusing parts of growing creatively, that when you’re in the process of growth you feel absolutely worthless! (I mean, speaking from experience, obviously.) Always gratifying to read that others go through the same thing—and I always need the reminder to take more breaks and get outside more!
So relatable! I love that quote by Ira Glass and actually was partly inspired by it to write a piece too! It was about how to tap into your taste to learn about your work and get a deeper insight into your "why". It feels good to find some discoveries along the way even if you don't love your output at the moment 💗 https://jessbarker.substack.com/p/good-taste-and-your-creative-why
Thanks this was perfect - struggling with a new painting skill and this helped me. I like Celine's comment below It's Scary but ... which means (positively) that there's always some new thing to discover and grow on your work.
Love the creative DNA illustration. Also, and I hope this to be true, for both you and myself, that when we hate what we are doing, it means we are on the path to doing something we will love more. That we are approaching the precipice of change and something more like ourselves, the new self, the one we've become and are becoming, and I guess will become while we're at it, (but maybe we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves with the future self.)
I'm not naive to believe that I will always love my work, but hopefully as I develop more skill and more nuance/understanding/compassion/openness/patience, I'll have a better relationship with it. I hope that someday I won't "hate" my work, but will understand it to be like it's own creative being walking beside me and at a bare minimum, appreciate it.
I loved this framing of growth-even though it looks hard anticipating the next gap from the current one. Still, a useful way to understand what I’ve signed up for
I needed this! Thank you for sharing your insights - they came at the right time for me! I’m healing from knee surgery and wanting to take the time to push my self forward creatively but both are frustrating processes! Now I remember that they should be!
This was amazing, thank you. Hits me right at a time when i find myself avoiding certain kinds of writing, which is another sign of that creative edge. I know when I am in avoidance mode that either there’s something I don’t know how to do quite yet, or something I’m trying to write but I haven’t figured out an entryway into the idea. Another writer once termed it “creative angst” which was so helpful to me in putting a set of words to a vague inner disquiet that I could never quite name nor explain. (Why do I, a person who loves to write, spend a whole lot of time Not Writing?)
This is the guiding light I need as I’m navigating the beginning of my writing career. Thank you for this reminder that I’m not supposed to have it all figured out. I’m so excited to keep growing.
Thank you for this! The Bouldering metaphor is particularly apt right now as I hit the ground (yet again), with a loud and juice "splat!"
Yet somehow, like a toddler with no idea how things are going to turn out or even what the "thing" I'm after actually is, after a nap or a snack or nice wee inner tantrum, I start climbing again because, for whatever reason, I can't not.
I really appreciate the creative growth framing. It’s always so destabilizing to have made something, reached some hard-won level of satisfaction with it, and come back later thinking “ew, whuuut?” Good reminder that it’s not just me, and growth is constant as long as you don’t let that “ew” feeling stop you.
I loved reading this! You framed the problem so well—we want to get past that gap between our taste and our abilities, and we want to believe that there’s some point where we’ve “made it” or “arrived” and can stop feeling insecure. But in reality we’ll only feel that sense of satisfaction for brief moments, because as our taste and our creative ambitions grow, we’ll open up new gaps to then cross.
It’s a scary but also very freeing thing to realize—that you never arrive at the point of total satisfaction. Which means (positively) that there’s always some new thing to discover or grow on your work
The feeling is so fleeting isn’t it?? I’ve cited your conspiracy essay to so many people recently! and when I read it my immediate thought was “I wish I could write like that” and then had to remind myself that to do so is a matter of work :)
I think taking a break is an important part to getting back on your creative feet. Sometimes intentionally stepping away, waiting until you absolutely crave it, yearn for it is enough to remind you why you bother in the first place and get you excited again.
It’s hard being creative, consistently. I’m just now learning that it really is a relationship that needs to be seen as such and nurtured and respected. I’ve gotten into the habit of making sure I’m in the right headspace before stepping in my studio. It’s not worth resenting the thing that you began because it brought you joy!
Reading this was perfect timing. Most of my studio days this week have been, “I hate this. Why am I even doing this?” I had to remind myself that last week I had some, “I love this!” days. It’s such a pendulum!
Gosh this was relieving to read. I feel this heavily, especially being a young adult in university and my creative flow + my relationship with my work. My favorite part was where we have great taste but our art doesn't match the taste, and then disappoints. I found that I try to do everything others do because I really like it and I want to share in it. Then I realize that this can be apart of my taste, it can be artwork I admire, but it doesn't mean it is meant for ME to recreate or take part in the genre. I once read an excerpt from a book on how art is alive and it is a living thing that we have a relationship. It changes alongside us and through us. So, you can never tie down your art or yourself because they're both ever evolving. <3
Thank you for the kind mentions, Anna! I so feel this idea of the “creative edge” — I think it’s one of the most confusing parts of growing creatively, that when you’re in the process of growth you feel absolutely worthless! (I mean, speaking from experience, obviously.) Always gratifying to read that others go through the same thing—and I always need the reminder to take more breaks and get outside more!
Better to feel worthless together!
Thank you for this! I particularly liked the "creative growth" chart.
You’ll be happy to know that I did all those charts and then thought “I’m not sure these are any good…. Well share them anyway.”
ANNA they’re so good! So so good. I don’t think I’ve seen as good an illustration of the taste gap before, and I’ve looked!
So relatable! I love that quote by Ira Glass and actually was partly inspired by it to write a piece too! It was about how to tap into your taste to learn about your work and get a deeper insight into your "why". It feels good to find some discoveries along the way even if you don't love your output at the moment 💗 https://jessbarker.substack.com/p/good-taste-and-your-creative-why
Thanks this was perfect - struggling with a new painting skill and this helped me. I like Celine's comment below It's Scary but ... which means (positively) that there's always some new thing to discover and grow on your work.
I need to get better at taking a break when it’s feeling hard, instead of trying to “push through”
Love your inspo list; I’ve added the overthinking book to my TBR and saved the six stroke exercise to try later this afternoon!
Love the creative DNA illustration. Also, and I hope this to be true, for both you and myself, that when we hate what we are doing, it means we are on the path to doing something we will love more. That we are approaching the precipice of change and something more like ourselves, the new self, the one we've become and are becoming, and I guess will become while we're at it, (but maybe we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves with the future self.)
I'm not naive to believe that I will always love my work, but hopefully as I develop more skill and more nuance/understanding/compassion/openness/patience, I'll have a better relationship with it. I hope that someday I won't "hate" my work, but will understand it to be like it's own creative being walking beside me and at a bare minimum, appreciate it.
I love thinking of our work as its own little being. Just doing its own thing, having a nice time!
I loved this framing of growth-even though it looks hard anticipating the next gap from the current one. Still, a useful way to understand what I’ve signed up for
Oh yeah, absolutely no way to anticipate 😂
I needed this! Thank you for sharing your insights - they came at the right time for me! I’m healing from knee surgery and wanting to take the time to push my self forward creatively but both are frustrating processes! Now I remember that they should be!
Some lesson about healing and getting stronger in there I am sure :) I hope it heals well!!!
This was amazing, thank you. Hits me right at a time when i find myself avoiding certain kinds of writing, which is another sign of that creative edge. I know when I am in avoidance mode that either there’s something I don’t know how to do quite yet, or something I’m trying to write but I haven’t figured out an entryway into the idea. Another writer once termed it “creative angst” which was so helpful to me in putting a set of words to a vague inner disquiet that I could never quite name nor explain. (Why do I, a person who loves to write, spend a whole lot of time Not Writing?)
Thanks. This is magnificent.
This is the guiding light I need as I’m navigating the beginning of my writing career. Thank you for this reminder that I’m not supposed to have it all figured out. I’m so excited to keep growing.
Thank you for this! The Bouldering metaphor is particularly apt right now as I hit the ground (yet again), with a loud and juice "splat!"
Yet somehow, like a toddler with no idea how things are going to turn out or even what the "thing" I'm after actually is, after a nap or a snack or nice wee inner tantrum, I start climbing again because, for whatever reason, I can't not.
Yes we all just need to treat ourselves like 5 year olds!!
Exactly! 😂
I really appreciate the creative growth framing. It’s always so destabilizing to have made something, reached some hard-won level of satisfaction with it, and come back later thinking “ew, whuuut?” Good reminder that it’s not just me, and growth is constant as long as you don’t let that “ew” feeling stop you.
Don’t Let the Ew Stop You is the perfect mantra 😜